-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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