A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

Black people are the scum of the earth

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

How old are you? 7

Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

what is long black and smelly the welfare line

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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