I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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No soap radio

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops