Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your P0rnagraphy to the public??? true. P0rnagraphy is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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