Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops