Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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dick dick dick... frogs

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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God. God.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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