Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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im at school

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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punchline below punchline above

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Your face is hilarious.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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