Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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You have friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops