What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

no

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

whats white and pointless? chalk.

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

josh roberts got the d in geog

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...