What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

Your Mother

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

Please? No.

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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