Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Make little things count Teach midgets math

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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What is a chair?

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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