What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Justin Beiber

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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