What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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you will now laugh.

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I died shortly after writing this.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Twenty-Four

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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