What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

penis

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

Why did i write this? I was bored

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY

Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...