Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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ow

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The awkward moment when these anti jokes are NOT funny. at all.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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antijoke is the best website.

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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