So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

Jesus was a good guy

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

Knock Knock *opens the door*

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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