What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Nicolas Cage

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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My penis is big... not.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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How come grilled cheese?

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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