If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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hi

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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