Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Hello

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all these jokes are horrible now

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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