How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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