Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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kieran is a homosexual

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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France had one revolution

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops