A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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