What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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Smelly Indians.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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