Your adopted

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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No antijoke here.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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what are three short words? i a am

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops