"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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you give like i give lomain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What's your blood type? Red.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops