What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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