Do you want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What to hear an anti-joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops