A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops