A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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knock knock Goodbye

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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Waffles ate my grandma

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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penis

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What fires shots? A gun

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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