Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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