A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops