How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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