Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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