Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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