What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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one stop shop

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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