What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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