What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops