What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Women's Rights

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops