Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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