A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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i had sex.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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