What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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