Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops