The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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bangers and mash?

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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The Moon Landing.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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womens rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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