What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops