Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Is it normal to eat breakfastr in the morning? Yes By Logan in South Dakota

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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whoes considered the best trackstar in the world. the random jamacan who ran onto the field.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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ur gay

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Sir, your wife is dead

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Tucker Rivera

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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