If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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You all have Aids

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Obama

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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