How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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Dakota Fanning

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Neither have I

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops