Ron Paul for President!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

thumb_up thumb_down -29

penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops