Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Justin Bieber

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Tommy got neutered.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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whats 7+4? 74

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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K

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops