why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Take wrong turns

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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