Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you find at the top of mountains? things

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops